While making hot chocolate at work today, I stumbled upon an amazing yet sad discovery. Enjoying Swiss Miss’ hot chocolate with marshmallows requires more work than just stirring in hot water.
How it all started:
At work I came across a packet of Swiss Miss hot chocolate with marshmallows. Excited and eager, I boiled some water in preparation of my chocolate beverage with the bliss of little floating delicious marshmallows. Once the water was ready I poured it into a cup, then dumped the contents of the packet into the hot water. To my dismay, the marshmallows started melting almost instantly. Quickly stirring I rushed to finish the mixture with enough time to still enjoy at least one marshmallow. By the time the mixture was completed all that remained of the tiny marshmallows were small white specs floating at the top of the chocolate liquid.
Due to this, I decided to try to find a reason for why I was punished with this cruel and sick torture.
Interview with Subject 1:
[11:28] CarbineMonoxide: Hey.
[11:28] Subject 1: hey joshums
[11:28] CarbineMonoxide: How are you?
[11:28] Subject 1: I’m alright
[11:28] CarbineMonoxide: Good to hear.
[11:29] Subject 1: how about you
[11:29] CarbineMonoxide: Not too bad. A bit dissapointed.
[11:29] CarbineMonoxide: And apparently I don’t know how to spell ‘disappointed’
[11:29] Subject 1: lol
[11:30] Subject 1: why disappointed
[11:30] CarbineMonoxide: Well. I found a packet of hot chocolate at work with marshmallows.
[11:30] CarbineMonoxide: I was pretty damn excited to say the least.
[11:30] CarbineMonoxide: I boil some water and pour it in.. All of the marshmallows melt before I finish stirring.
[11:31] Subject 1: thats why i pick mine out
[11:31] Subject 1: and then put them in when im done stirring
[11:31] Subject 1: its a hastle, but its worth it.
[11:31] CarbineMonoxide: But the box shows marshmallows IN the hot chocolate.
[11:31] CarbineMonoxide: And it doesn’t say in the directions to do that.
[11:31] Subject 1: i know
[11:32] Subject 1: but after like 5 times of that happening to me
[11:32] Subject 1: i made my own directions
[11:32] CarbineMonoxide: You shouldn’t have to.
[11:32] CarbineMonoxide: Not like this is some revolutionary new invention.
[11:32] CarbineMonoxide: Hot chocolate with marshmallows has been around for years.
[11:32] Subject 1: so suggest they make bigger marshmallows?
[11:32] CarbineMonoxide: Then they’d need bigger packaging.
[11:33] Subject 1: ugh
[11:33] Subject 1: i dont know what to tell you, unless they put fake marshmallows in so they wont melt.
[11:33] CarbineMonoxide: That mixed with the price of larger marshmallows would increase the price beyond what they can afford while keeping their current profit margin.
[11:33] CarbineMonoxide: They can’t put non-edible marshmallows in their drink mix for fear of a lawsuit from someone swallowing them.
[11:34] Subject 1: truly.
[11:34] Subject 1: you astonish me sometimes with just how badly you can make my brain hurt.
[11:34] CarbineMonoxide: My apologies. Just trying to get to the bottom of this.
[11:34] Subject 1: is this your new research subject?
[11:35] Subject 1: If it isn’t, it should be,
[11:35] CarbineMonoxide: It very well might be.
[11:35] CarbineMonoxide: What better way to solve this problem?
[11:36] Subject 1: I can’t think of any
Interview with Subject 2:
[11:35] CarbineMonoxide: Dude.
[11:35] Subject 2: Dude.
[11:36] CarbineMonoxide: How do you get your marshmallows from pre-mixed packets of hot chocolate from melting almost instantly in the hot water you must add to complete the mixture?
[11:37] Subject 2: Marshmallows in India is a rare thing.
[11:37] CarbineMonoxide: HAH! Looks as if you have more problems than myself then. Good day.
[11:37] Subject 2: -middle finger-
Research Results from chat session on SDF’s “commode” program:
[carbine] Hello everyone.
[SDF User 1] CARB
[carbine] Howdy SDF User 1.
[carbine] I have a question..
[SDF User 2] ask
[carbine] How do you get your marshmallows from pre-mixed packets of hot chocolate from melting almost instantly in the hot water you must add to complete the mixture?
[SDF User 2] with emacs
[SDF User 3] use cold water first
[carbine] Cold water?
[SDF User 2] it is M-xC-marshmallowcarbine
[carbine] Then it would be cold chocolate, where the box clearly describes their product as “Hot Chocolate” with a picture of marshmallows floating in the hot beverage.
[SDF User 3] why don’t you use linux?
[SDF User 4] usb marshmellows
[SDF User 1] i used firehole, guitar, beer and friends to melt marshmallow for years now. It work nicely
[carbine] The point is to not melt the marshmallows.
[SDF User 3] use the cold water to dissolve the powder first, then add the hot water
[SDF User 3] this also prevents lumpies
[carbine] But SDF User 3, when I add hot water to the mixture, the marshmallows melt.
[carbine] You’re missing the point I’m afraid. =(
[SDF User 3] try it
[SDF User 3] if it doesn’t work, you’re no worse off
[SDF User 1] why not use seperate marshmallow ?
[SDF User 3] I’ll send you 80 cents to reimburse you for the lost packet of hot chocoloate
[SDF User 1] big kick ass marshmallow
[carbine] SDF User 1, I am looking for a solution that requires nothing more than the ingredients within the hot chocolate box.
[SDF User 1] they don’t melt that easy because there no man’s marshmallow
[SDF User 3] your marshmellows need to harden the fahck ahp
[SDF User 1] one day they will take over the world
[carbine] Enough. I will search elsewhere.
After all of this I have found out several things. First off, people from India do not get to frequently enjoy the pleasures of marshmallows, and it makes me feel better knowing that even though I did not get to enjoy the marshmallows, I still had them in my presence. Second off, don’t go into a public access unix system asking for help with real life issues. Third off, I may have to go to the source to find an answer to my problem. Let’s take things further.
I will be contacting ConAgra Foods on this subject, asking them what they believe I should do to be able to enjoy both hot chocolate and marshmallows without going to extreme measures.
Message I have sent using the complaints form on ConAgra Foods’ website:
While mixing your Swiss Miss hot chocolate with marshmallows, the hot water almost instantly melted the tiny marshmallows that were included within your hot chocolate beverage mixture. I am contacting you for advice on how to resolve this issue in the future so that I may enjoy your products to their fullest extent. I eagerly await your response.
I will keep the readers updated with any progress. Let’s hope they stick to their confirmation message:
Thank you for contacting us.
Your message is being forwarded to a Consumer Services Representative who will review your inquiry and reply to you. Please be assured we will respond to you as quickly as we can.
ConAgra Foods Consumer Affairs
